Coworkers compete for the same management position, one instantly freezes the other out: 'She’s been ice cold and goes out of her way to avoid interacting with me'

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  • A group of coworker sit together in a modern office
  • My coworker and I applied for the same manager position, am I overreacting?

    My coworker Jane and I both applied last week for a manager position within our department and we both have interviews next week (outlook calendar details are visible). We've been friendly and talk often during the day and get along very well. But ever since the interviews got scheduled, she's been ice cold and goes out of her way to avoid interacting with me. She doesn't respond or gives me one word
  • answers to messages, doesn't reply to me in group chats, and ignored me at a recent in-person event which is all very unlike her usual behavior. She's told me she's applied for several manager positions in the past but never got one because she doesn't have the "secret sauce". I have observed that she can be unreliable with time commitments and never goes to in-person events except this
  • recent one in which the hiring director was in attendance and Jane made her presence very known. She also does not usually participate in chitchat in group chats but is being bubbly and cheerful now. I'm wondering if she is doing these things to make her look like a strong candidate. I've been working towards getting into management for awhile now by doing online learnings and attending a monthly conference to learn more leadership skills.
  • Jane would laugh at these things if she was asked to do them. My concern is that management will view her as a good candidate and believe her loaded efforts. I also worry that me applying for this position and her possibly being upset about it will damage our working relationship. She is not one to be direct with issues and will act shady behind your back if she has a problem with you. I have tried talking to her but
  • again, she's being very cold with one word answers. If either of us were to get offered the manager position, it would be difficult with the tension and lack of communication. Any advice on navigating this situation or anything I can do on my part to ease the stress?
  • Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    ABeaujolais Does anyone have any management training?
  • Three people discuss something at a business meeting
  • OliveJar159 Original Poster's Reply Jane hasn't as far as I know, nor previous leadership experience. I've been doing management learnings and taking on some tasks to assist management that go towards management skills.
  • sordidcandles It sounds to me like Jane is playing the game. A lot of promotions and advancement in the working world come with this sort of behavior. Jane knows what she needs to do to get the job. Do not worry about Jane, worry about you if you're focused on her and - let this get to you, leadership is going to notice. If you get an offer and Jane is upset, then she is having a human reaction and will get over it eventually. If Jane gets the offer and you are unable to accept that, you should
  • SuperRonnie2 As someone once told my when I posted here complaining about a friend and colleague getting promoted when I got passed over, "stay in your lane". Focus on yourself, your strengths and what you bring to the table as a candidate. What she is doing doesn't matter at all. For now. Give us a follow up to tell us who got the job!
  • nonsensestuff Focus on yourself and don't get wrapped up in whatever Jane is or isn't doing. If she gets the promotion, she will either sink or swim. There's always other opportunities for you in the future, esp outside of your current company.
  • _Notebook_ Couple things... if they're hiring internally then they likely know who they're going to choose. Also, try not to give a f* about Jane. One thing I've learned in my career... some people, as great as they think they are, will simply never elevate for a variety of reasons. If you're a top performer, you'll surpass many Jane's.
  • Contemplating_Prison Stop worrying about your coworkers.
  • albinofreak620 You shouldn't worry or think about your peer whatsoever. Prepare for the interview and do a good job. Make a strong case why you will succeed. Don't factor in comparisons to your coworker. You have no idea how they perceive anyone. You do not have access to your coworkers employment records. Often, an internal candidate is given an interview whether or not they are under serious consideration. If you get it and she doesn't, then how she feels about it doesn't matter. She can eithe
  • wedonttalkaboutkira This feels very timely myself and friend in the team have also applied for a management position. We haven't had any outcomes yet but I do wonder how it is going to change the dynamic depending on what happens...
  • bravoinvestigator I knew someone just like Jane. Except she was extra friendly to me and everyone else publicly and loudly. When I got the job over her, she suddenly stopped talking to me and stopped interacting on public chats.
  • Embarrassed-Crazy 178 Ask her what's up and make it uncomfortable. She will change her tone quickly

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